How to lose your man in 3 easy steps. 

Some women just can’t help themselves, perhaps they can blame genetics, that the “nag” in them comes from a long history of insecure women of her family tree. Perhaps, it comes from past experience of broken trust from a former relationship, but wherever it comes from, nagging and insecurity are two of the biggest contributors to being a nominee for “singledom” membership. 

If you are looking for ways to intentionally lose “your man” just follow these three easy steps! You’re welcome! 

  1. The minute he gets home after a hard days work, start nagging him. Let him know that you had a long day and don’t want to come home to have to move his shoes from the front door to the closet, or that he promised you yesterday that he would fix the bathroom faucet when he got home and it isn’t done yet. Do this everyday, don’t consider the day he may have had, or that unforeseen phone call he may have gotten that a long time homie may have just been gunned down right before he got home. Accost him 0.145 seconds after he walks through the door. 
  2. Constantly remind him of how “independent” you are. Remind him of how when you first met him you was “good” doing your own thing and didn’t need no man, even though he met you walking on your street about to catch the #10 bus to the mall and offered to give you a ride in HIS car!  Jab your independence in his side when you’re having one of those “We need to talk” conversations that just went south, cause he asked you whether or not y’all was good three weeks ago about the conversation you want to talk about right now that he isn’t interested in hearing, so now your bitchiness is at 100!
  3. Constantly compare him to your ex, you know that great ex you caught cheating on you multiple times that used to abuse your trust, but bought you gifts and took you in trips to compensate for his manly deficiencies? Yeah that ex. ALWAYS do this during one of those arguments you would have started from point #1 

After completing these three simple steps you are guaranteed membership into singledom! The kingdom where single women bitch and complain about how all men are dogs and try to give women in otherwise happy relationship advice! 

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I wanna play a “Game”

Jayceon Terrell Taylor, better known by his stage name “The Game” and most recently by his self-proclaimed name “meat print papi!” is one of the most infuriatingly sexy men on the planet! To me it’s not just his hood attitude, his mesmerizingly beautiful hazel eyes, nor the fact that he has the ability to spit sex game like Adonis himself, but my attraction for Game comes from his altruistic nature and his ironclad love for his kids. He’s Dr.Dre’s most notable protege, but for many of us who really don’t care about the material feats Game has accomplished, he’s s real life Robin Hood. 

 Ok first let me explain why I’m even writing about this relevant Instagram comment creeping sex symbol. Usually I’m that female that’s trolling the Internet looking for stories about the real issues plaguing the world and how I can use my platform to bring awareness to these issues, but I was on Instagram scrolling through my news feed about three weeks ago and almost choked on the Starbucks mango frappacino I was drinking! I’m not a fan of the Instagram famed exposed blogger “the shaderoom,” but I do follow their page cause they do stay abreast of what’s going on with celebrities and the likes. Anyway so about three weeks ago they posted this picture     

 Now everyone may not feel the way I do about a man covered in tattoos, but that lights my embriotic juices on fire! So as you can imagine I felt my whole body tingle.  The Game has this scheduled Instagram post thing he does he calls “fineniggafriday”, now let me tell y’all about Game’s #fineniggafriday!! 

This man deliberately poses barely clothed, snaps a pic, posts it to his Instagram page, then proceeds to give illicit and prolific instructions and imagery on how to give yourself an exhilarating  orgasm! Ok breathe.. just writing that and reflecting on some of the things he says just made me cross my legs and shift in my seat, but you don’t have to believe me take a look for yourself! 

   
  

  
Ok have you composed yourself yet?! I’ll wait… Games virtual sex talk is fire! If you don’t think so, then you’re probably that woman that gets cheated on all the time cause you think, sucking a dick is nasty! Listen you don’t have to like lewdness,  but your man doing half the things to you that game spits will have you picking his ass up from work waiting outside with the M27 IAR (that’s a really powerful machine gun) waiting for a female to even dare to side eye him! It would be that serious! 

I’m not the only one thinking like that, scrolling through the comments under these posts you can go into hysterics laughing from the lengths women would be willing to go through if Game were their man, or if their man was doing those things! From the amount of “likes” he has gotten on those posts, it’s very clear that Game is mind screwing a lot of women, but his reach doesn’t stop there, apparently men were taking notice of how the underwear Game sported in the pics enhanced his clearly and perfectly endowed “meat”, causing the men to the rush into stores to purchase the Ethika brand, creating a sizable increase in sales for the underwear mogul. 

  
Talk about power of the “meat”! If it’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience of trolling The Game’s  page; he has two by the way, it’s that Mr. Taylor likes to play Games, (pun intended) ’cause he owns the title, but becareful, when Game plays, he plays with fire and getting burned is an aphrodisiac! 

 


   
 

Recognize when you have been chosen! 

Relationships can be one of the most beautiful expressions of unified love, or they can prove to be one of the most damaging emotional experiences. Relationships that have “run their course” are the hardest ones to close. Neither individuals ever want to be the first to say goodbye, this is typically of those that have spanned for more than two years.

Letting go of someone you love is never an easy decision to make and for some women, it means having to start over and that is a startling reality many of us fear. Having to move on from a relationship where you have invested time and effort into will never be desirous, but we must be able and learn to recognize when you have reached a level of toxicity in a relationship.

If you find yourself having to question their every move, or you feel the need to snoop through his cell phone, he may have purposely left available in the open, understand that you are not in a relationship where you will ever have peace of mind.

Many women believe that once they have found “the one” they have to do everything humanly possible to make their relationship work, but what does “making it work” even mean? Does it mean blowing his mind every single time till he cries uncle during sex? Does it mean having and maintaining a perfect or near perfect relationship with his family and friends? Does it mean cooking every single night for him? Some of you maybe nodding your head in agreement that yes that’s what it means, but you’re wrong!  

Maintaining and having a steady relationship with a man is not solely about those things, in fact if you are a “chosen” woman it’s not about those things at all! When a man decides that he’s found “the one” three important things happen: 

  1. He let’s his friends and family know about you. What this means is that every other woman that they’ve seen him with or thinks he’s still smashing is done. He has intentions on bringing you around, so he’s setting the bar on the respect they must give to you.
  2. He calls up Sheniqua , Tasha, Keisha, Kimberly and Tanaya and let’s them know he’s with someone so everything they had is a wrap. What this means is he’s putting up the player belt and is ready to wear the settled hat. 
  3. He tells you that “the other day he was thinking about making a trip to the Bahamas”. What that means is, its official, he’s ready to start making memories that are of substance with YOU! Women please recognize in that instance that you have been CHOSEN! This is the moment you wrap your arms around him and kiss him. Just like his “unspoken I’m yours” is your unspoken, “thank you for choosing me.”

Maintaining this newfound status however for most women is the hardest job in the world, simply because you don’t understand the position that you’ve been given. Egos, insecurities, over exaggerated proclamations of independence and in some instances selfishness amongst other things tend to steer us back to the path of Singledom. We live in a era of egoistical “feminist” and self-entitlements of being dominant  or the “head” where it’s sometimes really unwarranted and we tend to spew this like vomit into our relationships with our men. 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being independent and self reliant, but please understand overstating this and using it as an arsenal against your man is not a wise decision.  I’m certain that one of the reasons he chose you was because he saw your strength and quietly admires that about you, so unless you are dating a blind man, or an adolescent, that should be one of those unspoken communications between the two of you. 

Another unattractive hobby women do that leaves us asking the question “How did I lose him?” Is the constant hating and competition with other women for their man! Do you see anything wrong with that statement? The sad reality to this is, that we put ourselves in this competition Lil Wayne said it best, why you worried bout that other hoe,  that other hoe ain’t worried bout another hoe” and only for verbatim lyrics (I don’t condone or support women being called out their names) in many cases its the truth, and the reason she’s the one your man would be attracted to is that her confidence level is at a higher level. Side note here confidence is powerful and sexy, if you don’t wear it, you should go look for it in your size!

Ladies if he’s verbally said to you, he’s in this thing with you” why are you competing? There’s no need to feel insecure, nor to question whether or not he’s content with you. You’re only setting yourself up to create hypothetical “what ifs” and TV created drama in your relationship. This makes me revert to that old cliche saying, “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it!”

Here’s a little inside secret from the memoirs of a side check with a really honest man. This honest guy told his side chick that she’s a good person, perhaps even wife material for someone, but just not him. He told her that he loved his woman, but that her insecurities just at times was too much for him to deal with. He told the side chick it wasn’t about how good she was in bed at all, but that she gave him what he was craving the most from the woman he did love and that was peace of mind” let that sink in for a minute with y’all. 

For all the self-proclaimed bad bitches out there that thinks you’ve won some prize or have accomplished some note worthy feat when a man comes to you instead of his woman, news flash kitty boo boo, you might only be the “filler” the fill-in till he’s ready to deal with the  drama from the woman who has his heart! For you nagging, insecure, hurt and broken women, please fix your life before you attempt to be in a relationship with a man! Stop with all the male bashing that “all men are dogs or are all the same! That’s the biggest manipulation and lie that women tell themselves and also the biggest projected foreshadowing of a doomed relationship. 

I’ve spoken with numerous males about this “choosing process” and how it works and the biggest peeve they have with women during and after this process and the general agreement they all seem to conclude, is that women worry way too much about each other as competitors when they should be concentrating on being what they need her to be and recognizing that they were the one that was chosen! 

When I had this particular conversation with Rob..we’ll call my friend “Rob” I was a bit perplexed because I had never thought about it that way, I needed him to explain what that meant. His explanation to me was that men do not process the dating or relationship dynamics the way women do. For a man, establishing himself as a provider to be comfortable enough to ensure stability for his future family is first and foremost in his head, they don’t concentrate on how long they have before their  imaginary time clock is going to expire, or of when they should have children or be married.

It’s not to say that they don’t think about these things at all, but it’s not for them as compulsory as women tend to think or make it out to be. When he’s ready to settle he will choose someone that fits his ideal perspective of a wife and then begin building that relationship up to press forward futuristically. His first step was that he chose you. For a man that is a huge decision! So logically he’s thinking if he chose you from among the many women that may have been options for him, why are you concerned with the women that are not you?

Singledom is overpopulated with bitter nasty and thirsty women. If you are in a healthy steady and progressing relationship recognize the very bold and empowering statement that your man has made and that is that you are Chosen!! Smile about that, let that fact adorn you and make him feel as though he is the King he deserves to be, because he didn’t have to choose you! 

I Am Black

The longest shit I ever wroteDear white people It doesn’t matter what my name is, because you see me all the time, I am in your child’s crayon coloring box, I am the dye in any article of clothing that you choose with a darker hue, I am that individual at the other end of your gun barrel that doesn’t look like you.

If you are not blonde, or your hair is not auburn in color then I am the dye in the color that you use to darken your hair to become brunette or to make it darker, am I becoming more familiar to you now, remember Kajieme Powell?

Yes I am black you know me well, for centuries you’ve tried to devalue my worth make me feel ashamed of the color of my skin, tell me that your “whiteness” is the high ness of human existence. Enslaved me behind your secret red doors, made my women your secret whores. Having your fill of “the American Dream,” the ecstasy fulfilled by a Nubian Black Queen, yet you defile the streets with the blood of Kings! Tamir rice didn’t get his crown because he was slain, im so sick of this, SAY HIS NAME!

Feel me like I’m your own skin, pursue me through your dreams till I’m deep within your conscience sight of what your future looks like. Don’t stop sculpting this road made of clay until you’ve created our inevitable meeting place. im here in these streets waiting for you to see me bleeding out and feel the rage that burns within the sanity of being human and helpless.

Dear white people my name is Black.

Can you please stop using me for purposes suited to your “in the moment needs” then discarding me? 

Look at me and see my skin know that I am not your enemy, but I am your equal because my sweat my tears the blood of my forefathers made it possible for us ALL to have freedom!