Mr Intentionally Potential

Every heterosexual woman alive that is old enough to know about the cabbage patch dolls, has either met or dated this man!

He is the “right” height, he has the “right” level of education; (he knows the difference between I am & am; your & you’re & their, there & they’re, our & are) , he “understands your perspective and agrees with you that your ex, was a complete waste of human mass and he is willing to “wait” until you’re ready to take the relationship to a physical position. (Pun intended) he’s definitely “the one” right? Stop! No seriously stop!

If you find yourself saying this after just one conversation with a man, please put on the brakes, do not proceed to go, go directly to your safety zone, better yet, go directly to jail, you’ll be safer there! This man is the biggest manipulator ever to be birthed, I’ve asked God countless times why he creates these mean kind of people? These men are thieves, they rob you of time, mental focus, and for some of us they cause deep rooted malignant contention by insulting our intelligence!

Everything apparent and obvious about them is “perfect”, leaving you to believe that he is just too good to be true, believe me, he isn’t, but that’s the bait! Once you’ve adorned the hat of skepticism that he can’t be this image of perfect you concluded he is , you’re inclined to dig up the dirt, you need to get into his head and dirty laundry. Bait received. Now you’re spending time with the Sharman. He’s feeding you bits and pieces of a not entirely clandestine past, but one that’s not entirely as ivory as you first thought him to be either! Great, he’s a little normal and, here we go, “potentially datable”! RIP to time that you are about to waste over the next four to eight weeks getting to know this con artist of time wasting.

These men are not interested in a long term committed relationship, in fact, the word “relationship” is a word used to describe the dynamics between them and their selfish desires and intentions, notice the M.O. here, everything is about them. Their sole intent is to make you feel as though you are understood, you are appreciated and that they are nothing like the person you told them was the last scumbag on earth!  So they sit with you on a pre-planned date night to “talk” and get to know you! Ok let’s think about this for awhile… Men don’t like to “talk” and if they do oblige you with a “talk”,  it better have an opening sentence, a middle and a conclusion! They don’t have the emotional capacity to listen to all the explanatory and detailed presentation of whatever it is you want to talk about, but “Mr. Potential” does! he listens to what you have to say and he totally gets you! Excuse me whiles I roll my eyes!  This man is playing you like like Stevie wonder makes love to those piano keys, but you don’t see that though! You don’t see it because you don’t want to.

In the first month, because you’re still 15 percent away from trusting him enough to want to get physical with him, he texts you through the day, might give you a call on a lunch break or send you that “good morning” text that makes you believe you were the first thing on his mind when he opened his eyes, that right there is a guarantee to have him on your mind all day and he knows it! After dates, he’s undertandsbly going home.  He doesn’t pressure you at all for sex, might not even ask you or talk about it unless you bring it up! He’s got you like,” he’s so respectful” he is definitely potential boyfriend material. (The tactic here is to get you to relax with him and not feel as though you have to protect the goodies from him, because he’s only interested in sex, if you are. You’ll also do good to know that he has a sex bunny he’s got on speed dial, to keep him satisfied until he gets your goodies)

Second month.

So you’re on a home date,(your house, you’ve probably visited his home twice, he feels more “comfortable” with you at your place. This being because his place is an official bachelor pad, only meant for getting it in and putting you out)  maybe sitting on the couch watching a syndicated re-run of The Jamie Fox show, not really watching because your mind’s  still trying to grasp the fact that this seemingly genuine guy is single and not “cuffed” so you bring up that conversation (the one about him being boyfriend material) and he reaches over and kisses you on your forehead and says to  you let’s see where this goes and that’s he’s definitely open to that. You’re hearts a flutter, really, a flutter? no one even says a flutter, but that’s where you’re at, all tingly inside and getting really moist down there! You’re ready, ok he deserves to get the goodies! (Please note that he said “let’s see where this goes”, this as in what y’all are doing right then, before he even considered the idea of being in a relationship with anyone other than his selfishness)

He knows he’s got you, you just lost the initiative of having control over not getting your feelings hurt. He calls you up on Friday night, (yesterday was the talk) asking whether or not you have plans, because his best friend is having a get together and he wanted you to accompany him! Your heart is racing, you’re wearing that big Mr Kool-aid grin on your face and all of a sudden your voice goes to the annoyingly high pitch of Niki minaj’s Barbie voice! Of course you’re going to go, he wants you to meet his friends, things just got real between you, officially in your head this makes ya’ll “official”! STOP rewind! To yesterday after he left your house.

Mr  Potential: Yo, my nigga she just hit me with the boyfriend conversation, is this chick crazy? It’s only been a month, plus I ain’t even hit it yet!

Friend: What! my nigga you ain’t hit yet?

Mr. Potential: Nah man, I’m playing it cool, you got to know the kind of woman you’re dealing with and this one is real smart!

Friend: I feel you bro, so what are you going to tell her?

Mr. Potential: I ain’t telling her nothing, I’m going to bring her through to the party, make her feel I’m feeling that boyfriend thing, you know how chicks think man, they think if they meet the fam and friends they’re in! Mingle with you niggas for a few, then take her back to the crib, gotta make it look good, hit it n split!

Friend: (laughs) word, do your thing bro I’ll  holla at you then.

They give ‘daps’ and part ways. This is the conversation you have no idea that took place, whiles you went to bed all moist thinking you’re about to get yourself a new “good” man. So you tell him yes! He feels good, you feel good, it’s all good right?

Fastforward to the party. he introduces you to the alleged “best friend” who isn’t really his best friend, but the friend that’s always down for the low down and a few of his boys, a cousin or two because it’s all family there! You’re on cloud nine, your with your new man and he’s introducing you by your name followed by this is “the one” I told y’all about.

So he’s been talking about you, definitely he’s been thinking about what you said and he’s feeling it. Oh yeah he deserves to get the goodies, you want to make it physically official! He’s just so sexy right now to you because all of your guards have been dropped, and he’s gained enough trust from you to drop them panties and show him what your working with. You already know his goods are “workable” for you cause y’all been messing around “safely” without crossing the lines before you were ready, he’s so respectful! This is the conversation going on between the vixen in you and the tiny little bit of doubt trying to reason with you about not getting taken in so quickly.

He’s across the room talking to his friend but steadily holding your gaze making sure you don’t feel as though he’s abandoned you whiles his boy is singing the praises to him for being the player  of the year for reeking you in.

Fast forward to the end of the night. so he’s driving you home and he’s making good conversation telling you how his friends and fam gave him the approval of you and he’s indicating that he’s excited that you and his friends and fam get along, because you’re the first woman that they actually liked( ok yup, he’s a keeper) this is definitely worth giving a shot! You’ve made history in the books of Mr. potential, you have to give this a try and see where it goes.. Just like he said. (Please bear in mind he didn’t confirm that he was going to bring you anywhere it was an implication planted that you grew and watered all by yourself. )

Last night was perfect, first night meeting his best friend and some members of his family, you got the stamp of approval, the sex was worth the wait, he knows how to put it down in the bedroom, not to mention his cunnilingus skills is literally a brain screwing!  He made you breakfast before he dropped you home! This man is perfect! You sit and reflect on the last seven and a half weeks again with that silly Mr Kool aid grin on your face. Not even stopping to pause the breaks to realize that the last text he sent you was after he dropped you home and after all the pleasantries of “glad you enjoyed yourself blah blah blah,” he said “thanks for last night, it was good whiles it lasted”(please note that he just told you, you’re a great person, I’m really not, I had fun, see you around”) but you missed that though, being all Jessica Simpson and her infamous “chicken of the sea” comment!

Silly rabbit smh, you just got tricked!

The next day there’s no good morning text and only a “hey sorry I missed your call, my day has been hectic”  text after you called him at least three times to check up on him! You can only imagine what will follow. the lines of communication get smaller and smaller until you get no reply text or you get an automated message notifying you that “the caller is either out of rage or has turned off their phone” now you’re left with a plethora of unwanted hurt emotions and an anger that not even a hurricane would want to compete with, all because you ignored the warning signals and wasn’t paying attention behind that big dumb Mr Kool-aid grin.

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Can I get some media with that privacy? 

It seems to me that in order to have privacy you have to bar down your house with 15 inch spikes, g12 your windows, make every guest/friend that’s going to be in your company leave their “smart phones” in their car or better yet at home and put in a futuristic alarm system that can smell the paparazzi coming 15 miles away! Nothing is private anymore and every one that has a modern smart phone is a photographer/videographer! 

If you’re teenish or twenty something and above, the internet is Life!! There’s nothing you can’t or won’t  find on there and I mean NOTHING!!! From prehistoric information about the stone ages, to the size, look, and feel of Justin Beibers penis, literally! When is too much information really inappropriate and who wrote the clause that if you’re a celebrity, you denounce having the right to privacy? 

Every one has the constitutional right to have privacy and to lead a private life, not subjected to the peering of onlookers and unsolicited opinion of people with a biased perspective. The world has long been obsessed with the “secret lives” of public figures and celebrities, but being categorized as a public figure, does not give anyone the right to intrude into that persons personal life. Here’s my point, just because I chose to go to South Africa and feed the underprivileged children there and word gets out about my philanthropic and altruistic efforts, does not give anyone an invitation, nor the permission to start digging up my entire chronological existence! What I did in South Africa was what I wanted to do as a human being in the position to help another human being not in my position. Where anywhere in that concept is the permission to divulge to the general public, my husband’s name, my kid’s name or invite the opinions of how my children dress or their mixed ethnicity? I’ll wait….

Being intrigued by the lives of people is ok, there’s nothing wrong with being curios about someone that has done a good deed or someone that is living their life in public view as an entertainer or general notable public figure, but understand that the only information that is rightfully appropriate for public scrutiny is the WORK that’s being done in the public view. 

The media intrudes on personal and in some instances intimate private moments where celebrities and other prominents would like a shot of “normalcy” like going out to dinner with family and friends or their significant other, please tell me why does that have to be news and made a headline in the next edition of the morning paper?!! If having dinner is news worthy, I’ll be in red lobster next week with my sister, seated at the back next to the Windows, I’ll be waiting for y’all to come and ogle me!! 

I’m sure it’s irritating to the celebs who can’t have a “normal” life and not because it’s not possible, but because the media over exploits the need for obsession with human beings who just happened to be a little talented! 

Do you really want to taste the rainbow inside of a birdcage? 

When I mentioned to a good friend of mine that I intended to write this article, the question posed to me was, “Are you sure you want to take on this giant?” I thought about his question, kissed his forehead and told him, I’m still praying that he realizes his lifestyle is wrong; said we’d catch up later and I walked out of our local Starbucks. I had to ask myself that question and ponder on it for a bit and I decided my answer was Yes!

From Love and Hip Hop, to Empire’s most dysfunctional idolized Lyons family, even reaching the “White House” homosexuality has come out in a big way! I don’t believe anybody has been left “in the closet.”

Over the last five years, there have been numerous celebrities, TV personalities, Prominent public figures, Singers and Athletes such as, Tim Cook; Apples’ ceo, Good Morning America anchor Robin Roberts, Raven-Symone, Prison Breaks lead male star Wentworth Miller, Jodie Foster, Cnn’s beloved anchor Anderson Cooper, Will and Grace star Sean Hayes, Latino superstar Ricky Martin, Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon, Neil Patrick Harris, Growimg pains actress Merideth Baxter, Lady gaga, English actor Rupert Everett, George Takei, Former Cleveland cavaliers forward, John Amaechi; Kim Zolciack, RnB phenomenon Frank Ovean, and football player Michael Sam, has openly admitted to being homosexual, and as such and in response to these admissions, you’ve had persons who are opposed to that lifestyle, and so the war begins.

Let’s first look at the word homosexual, as it is defined in the unabridged Miriam Webster dictionary:

Homosexual: Of relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex. When I look at the physiology and anatomy of man and woman I am exhorted to agree with the original instruction in Genesis 1:28, where God gives a mandate to Adam (a man) and Eve (a woman) to populate the world by “being fruitful and multiplying.” Translating that for secular transparency, God basically told them y’all get to sexing, no prophylactic required, go make lots of babies! It’s pathologically, virtually, scientifically and any other action word you’d like to append the “ly” adverb to, impossible for two people of the same sex to procreate!

Do I believe all men are created equal? No. do I believe a person was created /born gay? No I do not! However, philosopher Sigmund Freud was of a different theory, asserting that we are all born as bisexuals! That would be a complete contradiction to the bible if that were the case. I do believe Homosexuality is a choice, one that’s made by individuals that are unexplainably addled about their natural origin and sexual make up! 

Homosexuality is no longer frowned upon as taboo, it’s not even looked at on the mainstream as unnatural, in fact, transgendered individuals are being praised as heroic and brave, the loud, boisterous and flamboyant Sydney Starr was recently interviewed and made claim to being the “mother” of transgenders replicating the Nicki Minaj favorite punchline “these bitches is my sons.” Caitlyn Jenner formerly, Bruce Jenner, was awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage Award, I’m still waiting for them to explain that one! This year alone major milestones have been made within the LGBT community, particularly in the United States. On June 26, the Supreme Court passed the ruling making it legal for same sex marriages nationwide and president Obama lauded it as “A victory for America” I supported Obama before that day. 

Various research and studies into why individuals are gay have been carried out, the unanimous conclusions have been that it’s a choice that a person makes, whiles others have debated that it’s a genetic trait that a person was born with. Those that don’t believe the latter and opt to concede with the predecessor are branded as homophobic and like those individuals and their beliefs, I’m certain this article will be branded as hateful or homophobic or bigotry, but to the contrary, I’m in no way a bigot, and I am far from homophobic! I love men, I love women, however my sexual desire to be with a woman is nonexistent and it’s for the simplest reason, a woman cannot satisfy my deepest desire, and that is to procreate with another human being with whom I have a deep love connection. It’s nothing profound, it’s just that simple! 

In 1970, Homosexuality was declared as a mental disorder and for over 23 years it was looked upon as such by the APA (American Psychological Association) and other researchers and medical institutions. It was also listed in the DSM (The diagnostic and statistical manual that the APA uses as a classification of standard mental disorders), however, with insurmountable protest between 1972 & 1973, the APA caved under the pressure and with a board vote of 13:0 with two noted abstentions, homosexuality was declared as “normal” and to be a form of sexual expression,” this is both repugnant and a contradiction. To me it would seem as though the APA and the other “qualified” organizations to make such diagnosis, have been hoodwinked and have bended to the contagion of this era of “open minded or free thinkers”; this is so depressing. 

In spite of many of the most credible bodies of organizations and groups forming the majority of this growing demographic of people, there’s still hope, the minority, it would now seem as they are, of the presumed bigots and homophobic are not capitulating their stance with regards and I’m with them! 

It is beyond reprehensible to consider that “black is the new gay” a phrase spewing from the mouths of many. There are so many things wrong with that phrase. When you think about the color black, it’s opaque almost giving off the impression that’s it’s so coagulated that it might not be penetrable, with that presumption one might allude to it being strong and if you look at black from that perspective it’s impossible to see strength being debased or being broken down into a nothingness. However, this is exactly what is happening to the black community, more and more black people are embracing this wide spreading sickness and devaluing the pride and power associated with being black. They’re being blindsided by this distraction and not realizing how it’s weakening everything ancestrally fought for which is the freedom to be black without prejudice. What enrages me the most about this is not that I believe that black people are a superior race to any other race, but that when it comes to being “Christian or Spiritual” you find that blacks are the most vocal! 

Your grandmother could probably quote the bible to you in her sleep, but she can’t remember what she ate for dinner and growing up in a Christian home, you don’t have the privilege of claiming to not know what’s wrong or right according to the bible. The intangible cost to black people is the thing they hold close to them the most, their pride and losing the grasp of whatever respect comes with it! Being black and being gay, is like an Obama growing up in a Trump home. Celebrities are the most powerful people on the planet, but even wielding that brand sometimes is not as powerful as the unity of blacks. When RnB singer Frank Ocean publicly confessed his sexuality preference, the black music industry abandoned him like he was leperous! Understand what it means to be black and the tolerance that the average black person does not have for that lifestyle.

Religious leaders are prevaricating when it comes to their stance on the subject, some not so evasive. Oliver White the pastor of Grace Community United church went on fox radio back in 2013 and boldly said that Jesus made a mistake about homosexuality and that “If Jesus were alive today, I think he would be more inclined to say: ‘you know, I didn’t know it all’….Blaspheme! 

I’d like to emphasize that my disgust and intolerance for this preternatural way of living and thinking does not come from any hate, nor am I ignorant to the lifestyle and the cage that comes with it. My biggest peeve and may be my only one with 98% of homosexuals is their attitude of entitlement. That they have a “right” to abase the bible and to call Christians heretics! It’s just insanely ridiculous how they fight for equality yet, attack anyone that does not support their lifestyle and it’s an extremely dubious assumption to make that a non-supporter of homosexuality is homophobic! Really?!! This is a general and erroneous provocation that the LGBT community purports of being marginalized and it’s very sad! 

The emotions of many human beings are fickle, that’s a fact and not an overstated opinion. Love and all its idiosyncratic devices can find and lead us to many places some of us cannot not fathom nor willingly desire, however, by design we are instinctive beings. There’s an alarm that goes off in us, when we either sense or discover danger, the less prone to an aficion for adrenaline will divert their course, but those with an appetite for disaster will draw near and homosexuality is the biggest suction device ever to be developed! It’s like “a dark sweet desirable taboo,” the curiosity of tasting yourself in another mirrored reflection of you, is alluring, but once you’ve sampled the physical and embraced that raw carnal desire, it’s very difficult to leave that birdcage! Your every sexual demented fantasy is being sated and the allure that it’s taboo electrifies the very core of your emotions! The master feeder is your sexual carnality and because it is you, it’s difficult to find anything wrong with yourself! You see the opposers as “close minded” or bigots or homophobic, when in fact it’s you that’s the real bigot and heterophobe. 

I have one last plight, I really would like to understand, if you say that you are a man that’s interested in another man, why are you attracted to a man dressed in women’s apparel, or a man that goes to the extreme to replicate a woman? If you are a woman that’s interested in another woman, why is there a need for a strap on or to crew cut your hair, strap down your breast and try your hardest to imitate a man? This is why the argument of homosexuality not being a mental disorder will for me always be a moot point, because that right there is to me contorted thinking.